Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
