I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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