I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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