I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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