Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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