worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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