You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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