I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
