this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
