She said her name was "party"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
