as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
