I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
