just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
