I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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