just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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