Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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