No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
