Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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