2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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