Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
