I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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