I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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