Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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