dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
