She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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