Rock
Scissors
Fuck
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
