I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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