this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
