Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
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Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The Olympian is in my bed
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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