I'm really into asian looking animals
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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