Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
only you would photoshop your dick
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
