I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
