I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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