i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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