I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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