This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
