If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
