You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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