Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
