God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
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But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
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Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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