the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize