Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My vagina is officially offended.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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