the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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