we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
