You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize