Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
