I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
