We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he thought i was a dude.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
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There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
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Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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