remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
