i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
