I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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