On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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