i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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