what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
