im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
